i'm startin to re-think a decision that i made a while ago...
last night lori was up until who-knows-wen complainin about me to my father... if i'm so damn horrible y did she cry for me to come back? regardless... i hav changed since this whole thing with daddy and lori happened... but sooo didd theyyy! my father and i were best friends over the summer (no exageration i can honestly say that i had a best-friend relationship with my father) and wen i came back from long island, him and lori were talking again... therefore the father-daughter relationship deminished cuz he now had somebody else to talk to. we were still close, but i'm not gonna lie, i resented her, strictly for the fact that i felt second to her in my fathers eyes. my father had some problems and always came to me and that meant a lot to me... i felt like he had no need to come to me nemore cuz he had lori. sure enough i bitched to my dad about something small but about her none-the-less and we got into a huge argument and i think thats wen we stopped being so close. lori is most definately different from before this whole thing. idk y but for a while ive felt like the kind-ness towards me is fake... i think its cuzza all of the things daddy told me over the summer... but i feel like shes in this "let's-find-out-something-about-justine-to-get-her-into-bunches-of-trouble plot" which isnt always the nicest feeling in the world.
now on my living situation... everyone and their mother knows i want to live with my daddy... except for him. he wonders y i freeze up wen him, lori, and my mom torture me about where i wanna live... well its cuz he should kno! i was supposed to be a loris for a week... i repeat... one week... una semana... 7 days... yea... and i told my dad i really didnt feel comfortable with staying for more than a few days... but he told me it was only one week... so silly little me went... and im still there... from wut... the end of july/end of august??? he never even asked me if i was ok with staying longer... *sigh* if we were still the same hed just kno... i hate that... y does everything hav to change?
now on my living situation... everyone and their mother knows i want to live with my daddy... except for him. he wonders y i freeze up wen him, lori, and my mom torture me about where i wanna live... well its cuz he should kno! i was supposed to be a loris for a week... i repeat... one week... una semana... 7 days... yea... and i told my dad i really didnt feel comfortable with staying for more than a few days... but he told me it was only one week... so silly little me went... and im still there... from wut... the end of july/end of august??? he never even asked me if i was ok with staying longer... *sigh* if we were still the same hed just kno... i hate that... y does everything hav to change?
now i'm kinda second guessing where i wanna live... not like dads gonna buy an appartment netime soon... and i feel like an outcast in the house... but is moving in with my mom really the best choice? i need help... a lot of help...
<3me
ps: i'm sorry if there is ne1 who read this and was insulted or hurt... but i cant help wut i feel... and wut else is there to do wen i feel (even if the feeling is just in my head) that i hav no1 to talk to that understands...
<3me
ps: i'm sorry if there is ne1 who read this and was insulted or hurt... but i cant help wut i feel... and wut else is there to do wen i feel (even if the feeling is just in my head) that i hav no1 to talk to that understands...