~name: justine
~nicknames: jaydee, jessica simpson, teeny (<3shorty<3 lol), jasmine, j.j.j., cocoa, jelly, head skank (of "the spanky skanks and the anti-skank"), bean
~age: 15
~location: roe die lynn
~school: 10th grade at keough
~hobbies: writing poetry, shopping, acting, cheering, singing, being justine-ish lol
~status: likin nik...
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Friday, October 01, 2004
confessions of a teenage drama queen (minus that lindsay lohan bitch)
i'm sick of the drama in my house... can u honestly blame me?
i'm startin to re-think a decision that i made a while ago...
last night lori was up until who-knows-wen complainin about me to my father... if i'm so damn horrible y did she cry for me to come back? regardless... i hav changed since this whole thing with daddy and lori happened... but sooo didd theyyy! my father and i were best friends over the summer (no exageration i can honestly say that i had a best-friend relationship with my father) and wen i came back from long island, him and lori were talking again... therefore the father-daughter relationship deminished cuz he now had somebody else to talk to. we were still close, but i'm not gonna lie, i resented her, strictly for the fact that i felt second to her in my fathers eyes. my father had some problems and always came to me and that meant a lot to me... i felt like he had no need to come to me nemore cuz he had lori. sure enough i bitched to my dad about something small but about her none-the-less and we got into a huge argument and i think thats wen we stopped being so close. lori is most definately different from before this whole thing. idk y but for a while ive felt like the kind-ness towards me is fake... i think its cuzza all of the things daddy told me over the summer... but i feel like shes in this "let's-find-out-something-about-justine-to-get-her-into-bunches-of-trouble plot" which isnt always the nicest feeling in the world.
now on my living situation... everyone and their mother knows i want to live with my daddy... except for him. he wonders y i freeze up wen him, lori, and my mom torture me about where i wanna live... well its cuz he should kno! i was supposed to be a loris for a week... i repeat... one week... una semana... 7 days... yea... and i told my dad i really didnt feel comfortable with staying for more than a few days... but he told me it was only one week... so silly little me went... and im still there... from wut... the end of july/end of august??? he never even asked me if i was ok with staying longer... *sigh* if we were still the same hed just kno... i hate that... y does everything hav to change?
now i'm kinda second guessing where i wanna live... not like dads gonna buy an appartment netime soon... and i feel like an outcast in the house... but is moving in with my mom really the best choice? i need help... a lot of help...
<3me
ps: i'm sorry if there is ne1 who read this and was insulted or hurt... but i cant help wut i feel... and wut else is there to do wen i feel (even if the feeling is just in my head) that i hav no1 to talk to that understands...
Posted at 01:00 pm by cheerinjdv
Permalink
Thursday, September 16, 2004
HAPPY BIRTHDAY RACHAEL!!!! :)
Posted at 12:50 pm by cheerinjdv
Permalink
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
"dry ur eyes"
the street
we can even hav an open relationship, if u must
i look at her she stares almost straight back at me
but her eyes glaze over like she's lookin straight thru me
then her eyes must hav closed for wut seems an eternity
wen they open up she's lookin down at her feet
dry ur eyes mate
i kno it's hard to take but her mind has been made up
there's plenty more fish in the sea
dry ur eyes mate
i kno u want to make her see how much this pain hurts
but u've got to walk away now
it's over
so then i move my hand up from down by my side
it's shakin, my life is crashin before my eyes
turn the palm of my hand up to face the skies
touch the bottom of her chin and let out a sigh
cuz i cant imagine my life without u and me
there's things i cant imagine doin, things i cant imagine seein
it weren't supposed to be easy, surely
please, please, i beg u please
she brings her hands up towards where my hands rested
she wraps her fingers round mine with the softness she's blessed with
she peels away my fingers, looks at me and then gestures
by pushin my hand away to my chest, from hers
dry ur eyes mate
i kno it's hard to take but her mind has been made up
there's plenty more fish in the sea
dry ur eyes mate
i kno u want to make her see how much this pain hurts
but u've got to walk away now
it's over
and i'm just standin there, i cant say a word
cuz everythin's just gone
i've got nothin
absolutely nothin
tryin to pull her close out of bare desperation
put my arms around her tryin to change wut she's sayin
pull my head level with hers so she might engage in
look into her eyes to make her listen again
i'm not gonna fuckin, just fuckin leave it all now
cuz u said it'd be forever and that was ur vow
and u're gonna let our things simply crash and fall down
u're well out of order now, this is well out of town
she pulls away, my arms are tightly clamped round her waist
gently pushes me back and she looks at me straight
turns around so she's now got her back to my face
takes one step forward, looks back, and then walks away
dry ur eyes mate
i kno it's hard to take but her mind has been made up
there's plenty more fish in the sea
dry ur eyes mate
i kno u want to make her see how much this pain hurts
but u've got to walk away now
it's over
i kno in the past i've found it hard to say
tellin u things, but not tellin straight
but the more i pull on ur hand and say
the more u pull away
dry ur eyes mate
i kno it's hard to take but her mind has been made up
there's plenty more fish in the sea
dry ur eyes mate
i kno u want to make her see how much this pain hurts
but u've got to walk away now
this is one of those songs that u listen to once and hate it with a passion... then it gets stuck in ur head so ur forced to like it... well its stuck in my head... and i still think its stupid... listen to it... he talks... wut talent...
im bored out of my mind...
happy almost b-day rachael!!! ily! (2 days)
rite... leanna, sarita, gia, and rach... fun times ahead lmao...
gabby ill sing for u sometime lol... no computer class tomorro *fake tear* ...mr. mister"oh the ones u got wrong out of justines book?" nooooooo!
urgh i miss nikkkkkk!
rach, andy, mike, kevin, nina, courtney... im goin crazy without u guys! i miss la salle *tear*
eek im hungry... again... im gonna go grub...
*kisses*
<3teeny
Posted at 08:45 pm by cheerinjdv
Permalink
Monday, September 13, 2004
WHAT’S UR FAVORITE…
1. girl’s name- rebecca and blair... idk y but i love them both
2. boy’s name- nice try nina lmao... uhh idk... OH!!! theres this kid on my bus named armani... thats just awesome... lol that!
3. band(s)- nirvana!
4. type of music- probably... alternative rock
5. cereal- special k with berries... lmao sam"is rachael takin the strawberries out?"
6. subject- computer... lmao fun times gabby
7. sport to watch- BASEBALL!!! (yankees!), football, lacrosse (la salle)...lmao im still a lasallian at heart, right bobby?
8. sport to play- cheerleading...
9. color- o vaya... silver... lol leanna and sarita IT SHINES!
10. book- wow here comes my dorkiness... "swerve" by aisha tyler, "it" by steven king, and the whole "gossip girl" and "a-list" serieses (AMP)
11. animal- kitty!!
12. country- italy
13. state- new york! (ah the memories lmao)
14. drink- uh... water? (lmao sarita)
15. shoe- puma
16. computer program- wut? gabby help me here...
17. magazine- cosmo... and seventeen
18. teacher- ever? uhh miss wolf! lmCo
19. thing to do- talk, shop, write, veg out to music... haha wutta dork
20. brand of jeans- express, taunt, and l.e.i.
21. book of the Bible- revelations...
22. movie- shit i was hoping this one wudnt come up... uhhh thirteen?? among like 238572380 movies that im in love with...
23. tv show- ohmygaw... i cant say friends can i? o well... friends *tear*... yea friends and the oc
24. kind of flower- rose and jasmine
25. store- bebe, pacsun, gadzooks, and journeys
26. olympic sport- gymnastics?
27. clothing- my ripped jeans from express (rach and jesse love em too apparently lol)
28. brand of socks- wth kinda question is that? i miss details socks w/e the brand was... *tear* ...ha rach has all the good ones... ily babe
29. shampoo- brilant brunette and hemp
30. soap- love spell by victoria's
31. song- today its... "american idiot"
32. e-mail address- toobadudunno@me.com (old e-mail lol)
33. where do you live? uh... in a house?
34. city- craynstin
36. how many people do you have in your address book? like... 4...
37. who sent this to you? i stole it off of somebody else's blog *tee hee*
Posted at 08:35 pm by cheerinjdv
Permalink
Sunday, September 12, 2004
"creep"
radiohead
i don't care if it hurts
i want to hav control
i want a perfect body
i want a perfect soul
i want u to notice
wen i'm not around
u're so fucking special
i wish i was special
ugh im still sick of lookin up lyrics from the other day lmao...
i miss rachael and nik and kt g and andy and kev and nina and courtney and every1 at lsa and... uh rachael... i hav no life lol...
Posted at 09:24 pm by cheerinjdv
Permalink
Saturday, September 11, 2004
"for u"
staind
to my mother, to my father
it's ur son or it's ur daughter
r my screams loud enough for u to hear me?
should i turn this up for u?
i sit here locked inside my head
remembering everything u've said
this silence gets us nowhwere
gets us nowhere way too fast!
the silence is what kills me
i need someone here to help me
but u dont kno how to listen
and let me make my decisions
cuz i sit here locked inside my head
remembering everything u've said
the silence gets us nowhere!
gets us nowhere to fast!
all ur insults and ur curses
make me feel like im not a person
and i feel like i am nothing
but u made me so do something
cuz i'm fucked up bcuz u r
need attention, attention u cudn't giv
"breaking the habit"
linkin park
memories consume
like opening the wound
i'm picking me apart again
u all assume
i'm safe here in my room
unless i try to start again
i dont want to be the one
the battles always choose
cuz inside i realize
that i'm the one confused
i dont kno wut's worth fighting for
or y i hav to scream
i dont kno y i instigate
and say wut i don't mean
i dont kno how i got this way
i kno it's not alright
so i'm breaking the habit
i'm breaking the habit
tonight
clutching my cure
i tightly lock the door
i try to catch my breath again
i hurt much more
than anytime before
i had no options left again
"we're not gonna take it"
bif naked
oh we're not gonna take it
no, we ain't gonna take it
oh we're not gonna take it anymore
oh u're so condescending
ur gall is never ending
we don't want nothin, not a thing from u
ur life is trite and jaded
boring and confiscated
if that's ur best, ur best won't do
oh...
oh...
we're right
yeah
we're free
yeah
we'll fight
yeah
u'll see
yeah
oh we're not gonna take it
no, we ain't gonna take it
oh we're not gonna take it anymore
oh we're not gonna take it
no, we ain't gonna take it
oh we're not gonna take it anymore
no way!
"how come"
d12
i dont even feel the same love wen we hug no more
"autobiography"
ashlee simpson
i walked a thousand miles while everyone was asleep
nobody's really seen my million subtleties
got stains on my t-shirt and i'm the biggest flirt
right now i'm solo, but that will be changing eventually, oh
got bruises on my heart and sometimes i get dark
if u want my auto, want my autobiography
baby, just ask me
i hear u talking
well, it's my turn now
i'm talking back
look in my eyes
so u can see just where i'm at
i walked a thousand miles to find one river of peace
id walk a million more to find wut this shit means
"ape dos mil"
glassjaw
i walk around with my horns out now
but it's not easy to kno
i'm...
i'm going under
u cant trust a man who's a governor
ape cant trust man
u cant trust a man with a gun at all
ape cant trust man
how can u heal?
if u don't ease back the blame?
knoing u're right, wont u heal?
"killing time"
joss stone
u better stop wut u're doing
before u do it all wrong again
u better stop wut u're doing
before u do it all wrong again
i kno i may be young
and kno nothing of this world
oh Lord, it's been long
in its coming
i dont care if my words sound absurd
ur play wont play this time
u better stop wut u're doing
before u do it all wrong again
u better stop wut u're doing
before u do it all wrong again
cant get it out of my mind
cant u see that i'm not blind
i can see wut u're doing
stop what u're doing
wut will it take for u to recognize ur mistake
i was counting on u but now i kno yr just a first class fool
u better stop wut u're doing
before u do it all wrong again
u better stop wut u're doing
before u do it all wrong again
stop wut u're doing
before u do it all wrong again
u hav to get it right this time
before it gets all out of hand
"the game"
disturbed
it doesnt really seem
i'm getting thru to u
tho i see u weeping so sweetly
i think that u might
hav to take another taste
a little bit of hell this time
rah! rah!
lie to me!
rah! rah!
lie to me!
is she not right?
is she insane?
will she now run for her life
in the battle that ends this day?
is she not right?!
is she insane?!
will she now run for her life?
now that she lied to me!
"i turn to u"
christina aguilera
wen i lose the will to win
i just reach for u
and can reach the sky again
i can do anything
cuz ur love is so amazing
cuz ur love inspires me
and wen i need a friend
u're always on my side
giving me faith
taking me thru the night
for a shield from the storm
for a friend, for a love
to keep me safe and warm
i turn to you
for the strength to be strong
for the will to carry on
for everything u do
for everything that's true
i turn to u
for the arms to be my shelter
thru all the rain
for truth that will never change
for someone to lean on
for a heart i can rely on through anything
for that one i can run to...
"all i really want"
alanis morissette
do i stress u out?
my sweater is on backwards and inside out
and u say how appropriate
i dont want to dissect everything today
i dont mean to pick u apart, u see
but i cant help it
there i go, jumping before the gunshot has gone off
slap me with a splintered ruler
and it wud knock me to the floor, if i wasn't there already
if only i cud hunt the hunter
and all i really want is some patience
a way to calm the angry voice
and all i really want is deliverance
do wear u out?
u must wonder y i'm so relentless and all strung out
"at least i kno i'm a sinner"
atreyu
lift up a stone and u will find him
cherish the beauty in the world around us
not in buildings or crosses made by man
judge me, fuck u, stop playing God
ur forked tongue prophecies
carelessly caressing the wounds of the weak
people like u should be crucified
then maybe just maybe u wud hav an idea
of wut u r talking about
"vanishing"
a perfect cirlce
disappear
disappear
higher
higher
into the air
slowly disappear
no, no longer here
disappear
disappear
thinner, thinner
into the air
never really here
wut that never
like a thought brushing up against a sigh
floating away
"wut u r"
audioslave
and wen u wanted me
i came to u
and wen u wanted someone else
i withdrew
and when u asked for light
i set myself on fire
and if i go far away i kno
u'll find another slave
cuz now i'm free from wut u want
now i'm free from wut u need
now i'm free from wut u r
and wen u wanted blood
i cut my veins
and when u wanted love
i bled myself again
now that i've had my fill of u
i'll giv u up forever
and here i go, far away
"fall to pieces"
avril lavigne
if i had my way
i'd never get over u
today's the day
i pray that we make it thru
make it thru the fall
make it thru it all
and i dont wanna fall to pieces
i just want to sit and stare at u
i dont want to talk about it
and i dont want a conversation
i just wanna cry in front of u
i don't want to talk about it
cuz i'm in love with u
"down with the sickness"
disturbed
dont do it, u're hurting me
y did u hav to be such a bitch
y dont u
y dont u fuck off and die
y cant u just fuck off and die
y cant u just leave here and die
never stick your hand in my face again bitch
FUCK U
i don't need this shit
u stupid, sadistic, abusive fucking whore
"desperate"
distillers
this is the lie, this is the lie
that u promised to me
yeah yeah yeah
yeah i'm desperate
i'm going back again
yeah i'm desperate
i'm going back again
"my world"
avril lavigne
take some time
mellow out
party up
but dont fall down
dont get caught
sneak out of the house
i wonder if ppl think "gee she hasnt done nething wrong in a while... lets look for sumthin she did 8 months ago and ground her for it"
Posted at 04:15 pm by cheerinjdv
Permalink
Friday, September 03, 2004
im in school... and im wicked bored... i wud put lyrics but we rnt aloud to look up lyrics cuz of the "dirty lyrics" that people looked up last year. i just took a comp test and got 100... i was supposed to help gabby but that didnt work cuz of the a/b shit...
gia and kevin talked last night (how damn cute)
somebody asked if gia and i were sisters and she goes "ew i dont wanna look like u" and 10 minutes later i finally got it and hit her... im not slow i swear... just an off day...
lol nik... i get "honey" now... but BLUEBERRY? lmao yum? "g-u-knit!" ha shes blonder than me! brownies r better than u cuz u chose the freakin stink sox over me... or sumthing...
HIIIIII EVERYONE!!!!!! <--that was gabby lol (shes famous now)
<3teeny
ps: gia, sarah, and leanna... PIZZA... r u high??? idk r uuuu?
its fridayyyyy!! woot woot!
its KEVINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN... he looks freakin stoned... thats ashley... andd yeahh they r at winter ball... but not together... im gonna stop talkin now...
Posted at 12:36 pm by cheerinjdv
Permalink
Wednesday, September 01, 2004
"breaking the habit"
linkin park
memories consume
like opening the wound
im picking me apart again
u all assume
im safe here in my room
unless i try to start again
i dont want to be the one
the battles always choose
cuz inside i realize
that im the one confused
i dont kno wut's worth fighting for
or y i hav to scream
i dont kno y i instigate
and say wut i dont mean
i dont kno how i got this way
i kno it's not alright
so im breaking the habit
im breaking the habit
tonight
clutching my cure
i tightly lock the door
i try to catch my breath again
i hurt much more
than netime before
i had no options left again
i dont want to be the one
the battles always choose
cuz inside i realize
that im the one confused
i dont kno wut's worth fighting for
or y i hav to scream
i dont kno y i instigate
and say wut i dont mean
i dont kno how i got this way
i'll never be alright
so, im breaking the habit
im breaking the habit
tonight
i'll paint it on the walls
cuz im the one at fault
i'll never fight again
and this is how it ends
i dont kno wut's worth fighting for
or y i hav to scream
but now i hav some clarity
to show u wut i mean
i dont kno how i got this way
i'll never be alright
nik is wrong... linkin park is awesum lol...
yesterday i had a pretty bad day... but than i talked to nik which naturally put me in a better mood lol... i miss him so much lol nik"i miss ya babyy!" then andy wrote me a wicked cute song (it wowed me lol andy) which put me in an even better mood... i cant wait to hear it! then i talked to rach about her adventerous night and added on with nik and andy i was now like overly happy... lmao ima loser... so wut?
rach came and visited me after school today... gotta love her lol (wakin up at freakin 2! of course she came after everybody left... but o well lol...
i was talkin to this girl gabby today in computer... apparently our guys hav a lot in common lmao... we were exchangin our interesting stories of eachother and she was surprised to hear some of them cuz she thought i was a "straight edge" kinda gal... o well i surprise a lot of people lmao. she seems pretty chill tho...
my dads tryin to plan this last minute trip to newhere to leave friday with him, lori, the kids, and i... i was on the computer all day today lookin for different things that we cud possibly do... but than lori came home and decided she didnt wanna go nemore... lmao ook wut a waste of day lol...
im tired... my eyes hurt... wut else is new... schools wearin me out man...
*kisses*
<3teeny
Posted at 09:39 pm by cheerinjdv
Permalink
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
"iris"
goo goo dolls
and id give up f o r e v e r to touch u
cuz i kno that u feel me somehow
u're the closest to heaven that i'll ever be
and i dont wanna go home right now
and all i can taste is this moment
and all i can breathe is ur life
:( cuz sooner or later it's over :(
i just dont wanna miss u tonight
and i dont want the world to see me
cuz i dont think that they'd understand
wen everything's made to be broken
i just want u to kno who i am
and u cant fight the tears that aint coming
or the moment of truth in ur lies
wen everything feels like the movies
yeah, u bleed just to kno u're alive
and i dont want the world to see me
cuz i dont think that they'd understand
wen everything's made to be broken
i just want u to kno who i am
ick... i hadda bad day today... not talkin bout it...
i miss nik... a lot... i just wanna freakin see himmm!
school was halarious... i was completely out of it all day... i dont think one word that i said made sense today... "3x8=24... wut does that hav to do with the product of even and odd numbers?" (sarita... brain fart!), me"ur birthdays in january?? as in... the one coming up?" leanna"nooo im skipping a year!" (LMAOOO leanna!!!), emily"bye justine" me"ok heyy!", me laughing like a retard in spanish... i dont even remember it gia lmao! yeaaa it was a true jessica simpson kinda day... as in... my brain didnt work..
lsa had their first day today... hope everybody misses me lol... (btw i told u... u lil fuckers who accused me of lying about going to keough! honestly... who the hell do u think i am?)
kevin came over sunday and we spent the day together... hes so awesome i missed him so much! i can tell him nethin and he understands i love it! haha funny pictures "hiii katie!" ...rach was supposed to come but she was GROUNDED for the first time ever lmao (loser ily)!
ok time to get back to my miserable day...
<3teeny
Posted at 07:10 pm by cheerinjdv
Permalink
Saturday, August 28, 2004
"nothing else matters"
metallica
so close, no matter how f a r
cudn't be much more from the heart
forever trusting who we r
and nothing else matters
never o p e n e d myself this way
life is ours, we live it our way
all these words i don't just say
and nothing else matters
trust i seek, and i find in u
everyday for us something new
open mind for a different view
and nothing else matters
never cared for wut they do
never cared for wut they kno
but i kno
so close, no matter how f a r
cudn't be much more from the heart
forever trusting who we r
and nothing else matters
never cared for wut they do
never cared for wut they kno
but i kno
never o p e n e d myself this way
life is ours, we live it our way
all these words i don't just say
trust i seek, and i find in u
everyday for us something new
open mind for a different view
and nothing else matters
never cared for wut they say
never cared for games they play
never cared for wut they do
never cared for wut they kno
and i kno
so close, no matter how f a r
cudn't be much more from the heart
forever trusting who we r
no, nothing else matters
gotta love metallica!
wut the hell happened last night??? lol...
i went to rachaels from school thursday and we wrote songs... well in reality i changed one line of the song and then we cooked, drank, ate, sang, ate, went online, sang, snacked, did hair, sang... yea we were making a lot of progress!
i was supposed to go to the studio with rach tonight but that didnt happen... as long as she can like clean the whole house or w/e to get out of her grounded-ness (the first time shes ever grounded... the loser lmao) than she can come over tomorro and we can tan n wut not...
niks meetin my daddy... im so excited... not that the poor guy has to deal with my over-protective (typical italian) daddy... but that hes willing to... <3 ...we were on the phone and he told me he missed me... i realized after all my complaining into the blog that i miss him ive never actually said it to him... so i finally got to lol... yea ima loser... so wut?? i cant wait til i get to see him <3<3<3
alright im gonna go
*kisses*
<3teeny
Posted at 08:27 pm by cheerinjdv
Permalink
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